Among the many things I never bothered to swear I would never do: jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, with or without a bungee cord; walk anywhere near the reptile house at the zoo; waterski over a shark; do anything even remotely reminiscent of middle school gym classes.
Alas, infatuation, as it turns out, will make you do the wacky. This makes a sort of sense when you think about it since fatuus is Latin for fool, and thinking several times a day about someone I have only met twice is pretty darn stupid, especially since she probably hasn’t had a passing thought about me since Friday night. And “looking forward” to playing—I can hardly type the word—dodgeball on Saturday evening simply because she is probably going to be there feels stupid in the extreme.
And buying new sneakers because your gym sneakers are a garish pink and blue that doesn’t go with anything except your gym clothes and for this “social situation” you are bloody well not going to wear your gym clothes…
Well, you get the gist. How convenient that it’s April Fool’s Day. Present and accounted for.